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What Parents Can Do to Stay Informed
IAP encourages parents to stay informed about current events in
the country and region where their student is studying.
Many countries now have a variety of information online,
ranging from official government statements and statistics
to unofficial web-guides and online newspapers. In addition,
many English-language newspapers publish in-depth articles
about events in international areas. Consider subscribing
to a major newspaper (such as the New York Times, the
Wall Street Journal, or the Chicago Sun), a news magazine
(such as The Economist or U.S. News and World Report),
or another source of in-depth information.
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Culture Shock
(Adapted from Robert L. Kohls, Survival
Kit for Overseas Living, chapter on "Culture
Shock: Occupational Hazard of Overseas Living.")
All students, regardless of maturity, disposition,
previous experience abroad, or knowledge of the country
in which they will be living, experience some degree
of culture shock. Culture shock is a term used to describe
some of these more pronounced reactions to spending
an extended period of time in a culture very different
from your own. Culture shock can be characterized by
periods of frustration, adjustment, and even depression.
The worst homesickness often occurs two to three months
after students leave home, frequently arriving just
in time for the holidays. It is common for students
to call or write home during moments of low morale,
but not when they are busy and things are going well.
Consequently, families often picture a more negative
situation than actually exists.
Not everyone will experience culture shock. However
if your student does, it is helpful to be able to recognize
when it occurs so you will understand what is really
happening. The following breakdown of the four stages
of cultural adaptation will help you recognize the process
as it happens with your student.
1. Honeymoon Phase
Adjustment to a new culture tends to occur in stages. Initially,
there is a honeymoon phase. Your student is in a new
country, and everything is exhilarating and exciting.
Perhaps they are involved in a flurry of orientation
and getting settled, getting hosted around the town
or city. The sights, sounds and tastes are all a new
adventure. And, at first, your student may even see
more of the similarities between the host country and
the U.S. than the differences.
Suggestions for support:
Listen to the student's exciting stories and appreciate
the unique experiences he or she has the opportunity
to enjoy. Remember these good experiences to use when
times become more challenging. Some cultures are so
different from the United States' that it may be difficult for
the student to put it into words. Ask your student specific
questions about the country, culture, and people in
order to make the experience clear to you.
2. Irritability and Hostility
After the first couple of weeks, the initial excitement might pass
and your student may begin to confront the deeper differences
in their new location. Maybe he or she will be tired
of the food or struggling with the language. Maybe the
university seems incomprehensible and bureaucratic.
Maybe he or she will be tired of long commutes whenever
going somewhere. Maybe everything is much more expensive
than the student originally anticipated. Or perhaps
things are less expensive, but not of the quality or
variety that is customary at home. The initial enthusiasm
has drifted away and the student has entered the stage
of irritability and hostility. Worse, the student may
just feel like he or she doesn't really belong.
Suggestions for support:
During the first few weeks, it is not uncommon for
students to contact home upset about some aspect of
the new culture, people, and program. It is important
for parents to remember that students may initially
focus on what is going wrong in the program, rather
than right. Find out exactly what is frustrating your
student, but avoid judging the cultural differences.
Be supportive of your student and encourage him or her
to discuss these issues with the resident director.
The on-site staff has dealt with many students in these
situations and is well prepared to help your student
during the initial adjustment period.
3. Gradual adjustment
Be patient. Almost always, the initial struggles will disappear
with time and the student will experience a stage of
gradual adjustment. A sense of humor will reappear.
Things that seemed strange or just inconvenient will
gradually become familiar. The student will be able
to function more easily within the culture. When contacting
home, the participant will begin sharing the enjoyable
experiences with you again.
Suggestions for support:
Listen to your student's stories with interest. Congratulate
him or her for understanding the social norms, making
local friends, and other such successes. Your student
is slowly adapting to new surroundings.
4. Adaptation or Biculturalism
Lastly, there is the stage of adaptation or biculturalism.
Your student has managed to retain his or her own cultural
identity but recognizes the right of other cultures
to retain theirs. The participant has a better understanding
of him or herself and others, and can communicate easily
and convey warmth and understanding across the cultural
barriers.
There is no one way to experience culture shock. It
may be acute or barely noticeable. You may find it returns
once after you thought your student had already passed
through all the stages. As a parent, you may not even
be aware that your student is going through culture
shock, or to what extent. Simply be aware that culture
shock exists, that it will probably affect your student
in one way or another, but that it doesn't last forever.
Culture shock can be a very valuable experience, which
can leave people with broader perspectives, deeper insight
into themselves and a wider tolerance for other people.
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Reverse Culture Shock
Although it may seem like a long way off, we suggest
that you start thinking now about your student's return
to the United States after the program ends. Students
often go through a phase of "reverse" or "re-entry"
culture shock when they come back home, sometimes more
challenging than what they went through abroad. They
expect to go through adjustments in foreign countries,
but do not always realize that life has continued on
without them at home and there may be changes for which
they were not prepared. As with culture shock, one way
to alleviate the difficulty of re-entry shock is to
keep your student aware of what is going on at home
through consistent communication. Students often go
through periods of mild depression once they return
home because of feelings that no one is interested in
what they experienced in their time abroad.
Faced with questions such as "How was your time
in xxxx?" a student often can only answer "Great!"
before conversation moves on to another subject. Encourage
friends and family members to ask more specific questions
like "What were the best things about living abroad?
The most difficult? What places did you visit? Are people's
daily lives the same as in the United States? Do you
have any pictures? Etc., etc." Have a party where
your student can show off food, customs and souvenirs
from his or her travels. Not only will such questions
and activities remind students they had a worthwhile
experience and help them to readjust, it will help others
in your community or family learn more about the world
around us.
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Communication With Your Student
While He or She is Abroad
One way to get a more complete picture and help reduce
feelings of homesickness is to write to your student
regularly, and encourage him or her to do the same.
A letter that a student can read and reread in quiet
moments is always appreciated. Communication should
be easy if you and your student have access to e-mail.
At the same time, please understand that access to e-mail
overseas is not always as readily available as it is
in the U.S., even in parts of Western Europe where you
would expect access to be comparable. In addition, daily
e-mail contact is not always desirable. Students need
to separate themselves a bit from their home support
networks as they build a local one, as they immerse
themselves in the local culture.
Given the turnaround time for international mail, you
might not want to wait until you receive a letter in
order to write one, but instead make it a weekly habit.
In addition to your own letters to your overseas scholar,
urge other family members to write. Cards, newspaper
clippings, or pictures are also usually welcome. There
is a close correlation between morale abroad and mail
from home. Strange as it might seem, our students can
be almost as concerned about you as you can be concerned
about them! If they do not hear from you, they may worry
about what is wrong.
In this era of modern communication, phone, fax and
e-mail are alternative ways to maintain regular contact
with loved ones, especially when you want to get in
touch with your student in a hurry. If you think you
will be using the phone to communicate, call your long
distance company. Many offer special services that allow
you to identify one country as a frequently called one,
and for a small monthly fee, you can cut the cost of
your calls considerably. Another option is to purchase
a calling card with reduced rates for the country in
which your student is studying.
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Visiting Your Student Abroad
If you want to visit your son or daughter abroad
(and we hope some of you do), it would help if
you could arrange your visit to coincide with
vacation times or after the program has ended.
Then your son or daughter does not have to make
the difficult choice between academic work and
having fun showing you how competent he or she
has become in a new environment. Many families
find reading about the study abroad location to
be both interesting and a good way to feel more
in touch with the experience of their student
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Next Section: Safety
and Security Abroad
Previous Section: Preparing
for Travel
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